Angelic Expectations

Cus, Voiced by: As with all her prior hakaishins, Cus held a spotty relationship with Ramu. She was the oldest of her siblings, and as such, had gone through many mortal students. After millions of years, their lives sometimes would barely register as a flicker of her eye. There was never any tension to speak of - her universe was always a laid back one. Perhaps that was the problem. All the same, it was this satisfaction that would lead Ramu to say nothing, in that first century, when Cus brought a mortal man home with her, in the dead of the night. She always had her men. Sometimes women. Usually men. Always young. Always screaming, in one fashion or another; ranging in variety in a single night. Should he say anything, he wondered? Did the god he replaced deal with this same issue? Is this what he had meant when he told him upon his induction, “Let her keep her pets, unless you want to shit scorpions for a year?“ Or perhaps the strange, century year long absences followed by phone calls asking for “Granny Centipede“ were another clue. Her duty as attendant was perfect, otherwise. It was best to say nothing. After all, what sign of mischief was there, really? What cause for alarm? The endless parade of slightly blue-skinned, sometimes white-haired children she might occasionally be seen teaching, raising and caring for, on some mortal world? Her so-called “spider god cave,“ where she sometimes would capture livestock in a vast steel web of her own invention, before balling them up into cocoons and siphoning their life forces into a nearby garden, whose fruits and vegetables she would sell for money she would then simply throw away? Or even the times she would tell him, “I love having sinful, carnal sexual relationships with mortal men, raising families with them without my father’s knowledge or consent, and sometimes freaking them the fuck out with insects and shit. Hey, don’t tell anyone, or your millions of years of life will become an eternity of hell?“ No, these were nothing. Flimsy pretexts for pointless worries, in an otherwise perfect relationship with one of the cosmo’s brightest angels.