【Music】Hudson Bay and the Ballad of One Hundred Warships + † Cross (I Believe In You)
“†“ is about choosing how to remember people and moments in your life, even if it isn’t the full picture. I have lost contact with many different people over the years — for better, or for worse — and there are many complexities to exploring those memories.
First and foremost, I waited so long to come out as trans because of the schools I went to and the people I was around. Though this is far from the only reason for staying in the closet, nobody really knew me for who I was. Ruminating on reconnecting with people from before then, especially from my catholic education, worries me a lot. Sometimes there are people from my life who have hurt me or I have hurt. It’s natural to go into those memories and think that it’s all ruined because of whatever conflict caused a rift. There are also so many times and places that are muddied by struggles and traumas, and it’s hard to overcome the terrifying aura that permeates those things.
However, I have found it important to know that many of the things I miss are not the people or the situations, but rather the memories themselves. You can still find something good amidst all of the bad or uncertain. I don’t really need to know how people would react to me being so queer, I can keep my distance while maintaining the positive views I have of our past friendships. I can remember harder times for the small positive memories that managed to be created. And I can still try to not let conflicts and divisions take away from moments that had a positive impact on me.
Obviously, to frame things like this does not elucidate the full picture. But for people and times where this all can be applied, it can help to facilitate a healthier outlook on things.
The mixtape employs a lot of different religious and faith based imagery, and a lot of that is because it is a sort of a spiritual thing to believe in things a certain way, rather than always maintaining the fullest scope of everything. That faith you create around your life does not explain everything and isn’t entirely empirical, but within reason, you can exist happier.
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Written by Vylet
Music by Vylet
Vocals by Vylet
Produced, mixed, and mastered by Vylet
Artwork by Larvaecandy
☁️ Larvaecandy ☁️
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Song lyrics available here:
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