Kan Yourself - Eminem (Riichi Mahjong Parody)

[▼Full Lyrics & More▼] My Riichi Mahjong Tutorial: | Socials | Twitch: Twitter: Discord: I can’t monetize this video, so if you want to support you can do so at: Channel Art: | Lyrics | Look, If you had 3 dora And you drew the fourth While you’re sitting last in south 4 And it’s your rank up game, Would you Kan it? Or just let it slip? His hands are sweaty, Bamboo is flowing steady, There’s a message on his screen reading Yakuman Ready He’s nervous He doesn’t know if he should pon or chii, Maybe sit and wait in tenpai For a six or a three. So he pushes, the dealer starts smiling now A riichi stick, one two three come out, They’re joking now, they’re all emoting now Time’s up and you deal in, it’s Tanyao plow Snap back you’re in expert three Oh you’re losing easily, Oh? You’re calling riichi for a closed wait On the bamboo three? No the hand is not easy No there’s no advancing see You’re counting all the orphans in your Hand and seeing nobody So he’s stuck dreaming of first He’s so mad that he’s cursed He’s on a pinfu only hand And knows that is the worst He’s upset because this game is his life-u And he’s getting laughed at By his favorite waifu You better call a riichi In south 3, it’s easy, believe me You want the chance to call a Ron You only get one round, Ippatsu with tsumo, so You’re in the dealer seat right now Let’s get on with the show He’s focused No longer is playing for fun He’s doing research online to find Riichi Book 1 It’s late And his eyes are getting weary But he’s reading more to learn about Five block theory Wait He’s taking notes down with a ballpoint pen And learning quickly how to make a perfect ii-shan-ten True, his game’s looking the same There’s no one else there to blame But there’s a spark inside that Maybe something bigger has changed Eating up knowledge like edamame Analyzing tiles now seeing suji and kabe Playing for the kill now and His tricks intend To catch you with a haneman In dameten Ranking up and getting To familiar lands Cleaning up and calling Ron with half outside hands His wins are getting vicious While you’re going berserk And just like the loading screens They’re not safe for work You better call a pon for the dora, You oughta, before-a The dealer’s hand is ready so You’ve only got one suit, do not miss your full flush yo That hand is gonna be 5han maybe 6han closed Excuse me I’m the mahjong version of Goku Eating 3 mixed beans like a senzu sanshoku I’m the braised GOAT And you’re a cute little bonchon So I’m winning now you’re saying how While losing a hanchan Riichi Dora Ittsuu I’m assembling mangans While you’re furiten and dealing in Your points are just all gone Calling a chii, with a one three, Oh you thought maybe you’d win off of me? I’m giving you lessons you’re over there guessing I’m getting a starting hand blessing of heaven Oops, excuse me did I say enough You’re gonna backseat in the comments and you think you’re so tough? You see, I’m risking everything by showing up You’re hiding with an avatar you found in shonen jump Ya little garbage dump, yeah I’m making a scene Kazoi Yakuman cause my Han count is over 13 You see Sebastian the crab? I’m only just seeing me It’s never over cause I’m winning with an Under The Sea You better call a kan, before it’s gone, a sanbaiman with ura san First, it’s what we’ve betting on You’ve only got 1k Riichi, it’s your final call It’s like the time I spend on making vids I’m risking it all | Special Thanks | My community: the funniest and kindest group out there. My mods: bread_bowl_shoes, kimbunni, jp00p, and Oishi47. My girlfriend Beth, who I could not have done this without. | Mahjong | Play Mahjong Soul: You might have encountered Riichi Mahjong in the Yakuza series, by watching the Akagi or Saki anime, or you might have seen your favorite VTubers from Hololive or Nijisanji playing. The rules are virtually identical whether you’re playing in Yakuza, FFXIV, Mahjong Soul, Touhou, or Riichi City.