Drunk parents arrested after losing kids at the beach

A couple from Georgia has been arrested in Florida after becoming so drunk that they lost their kids and passed out on the beach. The cops were called after concerned onlookers in Daytona became worried that the pair were not only nearly paralytically intoxicated, but that their kids had gone missing. Despite enthusiastic bellowing by the sheriff, the couple were difficult to rouse from their stuporous slumber. When they awoke, the pair seemed oblivious to their surroundings, their crippling sunburn, or the small detachment of law enforcement. When asked if they knew where their kids had gone, Stephens stumbled to his feet and looked out at the Atlantic Ocean, as if to say ‘my kids must be in there somewhere.’ They were not. As the pair argued about who was to blame, and who would bail them out, police began the arduous process of due process. It was at this point that Stephens decided to make a run for it. The escape attempt went about as well as you’d expect for a man too drunk to stand and with his hands cuffed behind his back, and ended approximately about six seconds later with moderate injuries. Sheriffs pulled what was left of his face out of the sand, and escorted both of them back to the station, where they were charged with child neglect, attempting to escape police (badly), and having alcoholic beverages at the beach. The children, aged 5 and 7, had already shown more common sense than their parents and had returned to the safety of the hotel, where they were found safely playing near the pool.