This parody of Jingle Bells takes a look at crimes, misdemeanors, and treason in the context of judges and the law of the land.
Executive Producers Don Caron and Jerry Pender
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MAILING LIST (Never Shared)
LYRICS to TO THE JAIL
He is headed, to the jail
it’s been a lot to track
He crossed the line and once it’s crossed
there ain’t no going back
He’ll be there, for a while
Him and all his lies
And since he’s almost eighty
He might be there ’til he dies.
It’s not just one small crimeIt’s more like 94
Before his tribe will be convinced
He’ll need a thousand more
He just might go that far
‘cause he can’t close his trap
He’s threatening the judges
and won’t stop until they slap him
With jail time for a crime
you can take your pick
there are so many to choose from
and they all seem to stick
To him because it’s what he does
he’s always been that way.
It looks like things are changing
and he is about to pay
There’s judges on his case both
Republicans and Dems
He calls them RINO Judges
But they’ll get him for his sins
That’s how justice works
on both sides of the aisle
they dutifully enforce the law
and do it with a smile
He is headed to the jail
it’s been a lot to track
He crossed the line and once it’s crossed
there ain’t no going back
He’ll be there, for a while
Him and all his lies
And since he’s almost eighty
He’ll be there until he dies.
ABOUT THE ORIGINAL SONG
“Jingle Bells“ is one of the best-known and most commonly sung songs in the world. It was written in 1850 by James Lord Pierpont at Simpson Tavern in Medford, Massachusetts. It was published under the title “The One Horse Open Sleigh“ in September 1857. It has been claimed that it was originally written to be sung by a Sunday school choir for Thanksgiving, or as a drinking song. Although it has no original connection to Christmas, it became associated with winter and Christmas music in the 1860s and 1870s, and it was featured in a variety of parlor song and college anthologies in the 1880s. It was first recorded in 1889 on an Edison cylinder; this recording, believed to be the first Christmas record, is lost, but an 1898 recording - also from Edison Records - survives.
It is an unsettled question where and when Pierpont originally composed the song that would become known as “Jingle Bells“. A plaque at 19 High Street in the center of Medford Square in Medford, Massachusetts, commemorates the “birthplace“ of “Jingle Bells“, and claims that Pierpont wrote the song there in 1850, at what was then the Simpson Tavern. Previous local history narratives claim the song was inspired by the town’s popular sleigh races during the 19th century.
The song was republished in 1859 by Oliver Ditson and Company, 277 Washington Street, Boston, with the new title “Jingle Bells; or, The One Horse Open Sleigh“. The sheet music cover featured a drawing of sleigh bells around the title. Sleigh bells were strapped across the horse to make the jingle, jangle sound.
The song was first performed on September 15, 1857, at Ordway Hall in Boston by blackface minstrel performer Johnny Pell.
The song was in the then-popular style or genre of “sleighing songs“. Pierpont’s lyrics are strikingly similar to lines from many other popular sleigh-riding songs of the time; researcher Kyna Hamill argued that this, along with his constant need for money, led him to compose and release the song solely as a financial enterprise: “Everything about the song is churned out and copied from other people and lines from other songs—there’s nothing original about it.“
By the time the song was released and copyrighted, Pierpont had relocated to Savannah, Georgia, to serve as organist and music director of that city’s Unitarian Church (now Unitarian Universalist), where his brother, Rev. John Pierpont Jr., served as minister. In August 1857, Pierpont married Eliza Jane Purse, daughter of the mayor of Savannah. Pierpont remained in Savannah and never returned north.
The double meaning of “upsot“ was thought humorous, as a sleigh ride gave an unescorted couple a rare chance to be together, unchaperoned, in distant woods or fields, with all the opportunities that afforded. This “upset“, a term Pierpont transposed to “upsot“, became the climactic component of a sleigh-ride outing within the sleigh narrative.
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