ANCIENT ROME song by Mr. Nicky

TEACHERS: Mr. Nicky still has a few available dates left for his 2023 virtual assemblies! These online programs (via Zoom/Google Meet/etc.) meet state learning standards in both social studies and ELA, and they’re tons of fun. Please send an e-mail to mrnickychicago@ for full information. (Students will not receive a response, but thank you for your support!) - LYRICS BELOW - Here’s the MERCH! : Lesson on Ancient Rome by Mr. Nicky Parody of “Thrift Shop“ feat. Wanz by Mackelmore & Ryan Lewis Backing track property of Karaoke Version/Tency Music. R-R-R, Romulus R-R-R, Remus (repeat) The Tiber River’s running through Rome (repeat) Rome! (Voice Of Augustus): I’m “One who Commands“ Ruling all provinces in my empire Build aquaducts and Say my name’s Augustus It’s the Pax Romana Nah, walk into the forum through the arch made of marble rock Grand Uncle Caesar joined up with Cleopatra If he hadn’t died on the Ides he’d see me And he’d say “Man, that’s how I beat Pompey“ Armies are obeying me Goods are moving really free Government’s efficient And there’s pax (Latin word for peace) No more of these Punic Wars Fighting over Sicily Hannibal crossed the Alps Still Carthage couldn’t beat . . .Scipio Africanus. . . And Hannibal had elephants! We were a Republic A government run by elected ones Who we call representatives The branch that’s called the Senate is controlled by nobles called patricians But the poorer citizens and workers were called plebeians who chose the citizens’ assembly My name’s on the calendar, my name’s on the calendar No for real, look at August, my name’s on the calendar (Augustus!) We got concrete to build arch bridges We got baths where you read and talk business Build the Colosseum, fill the Colosseum Get some Gladiators, let the lions eat them You know the Roman Empire’s growing Got to keep the conquered people from revolting All of them should know the laws, plebeians and slaves will See them in the forum and say “They’re the 12 Tables.“ I’m “One who Commands“ Ruling all provinces in my empire Build aquaducts and Say my name’s Augustus It’s the Pax Romana I’m “One who Commands“ Ruling all provinces in my empire Build aquaducts and Say my name’s Augustus It’s the Pax Romana Seven hills help protect us from invasion Fertile farmland’s in the plains of Latium Volcanoes, they sometimes erupt like Mount Vesuvius Pompeii was sad but their soil’s rich The Italian peninsula’s on Mediterranean trade routes You’ll see that it’s shaped like a boot My non-citizen soldiers still defend us Every 5 years we count the people with a census Your servants, your slaves, your brothers, your babies We’re going to take a census so get ready ’cause we’re counting up the numbers We do it every 5 years, counting up the numbers So register because we’re counting up the numbers People are like, “Oh, you were adopted by Caesar“ I’m like, “Careful, you’re talking to an Emperor“ Caesar was no emperor He got murdered by Senators At most he was a dictator With only a dictatorship He gave land to his soldiers to appease them (dictatorship) He had to hand free grain to his citizens Yeah he governed Gaul He crossed the Rubicon to start a civil war But I’ve defeated generals Why’d he make citizens of those not born in Rome? Maybe he was scared there’d be a plebeian revolt . . . plebeian revolt (Hey Caesar, were you reading Livy’s books too much?) I’m “One who Commands“ Ruling all provinces in my empire Build aquaducts and Say my name’s Augustus It’s the Pax Romana I wear a laurel and robe It’s called a toga though I build those Roman Roads And your taxes pay for those Bad news for you consuls (that’s right!) who made new laws for Rome (come on!) All those I can veto (he’s got the veto!) The Republic’s days are through I’m “One who Commands“ Ruling all provinces in my empire Build aquaducts and Say my name’s Augustus It’s the Pax Romana