I hate myself I’m sure you know

I don’t want to be me anymore. I hate my life. I struggle everyday to make it to the next just waiting for the time I can go skate again to clear my head. If it wasn’t for this piece of wood, metal, and rubber I might be dead. Skateboarding has ruined my life but, saved only skate once or twice a week now and I’m dying inside more than ever. I can’t handle my job anymore... I’m losing grip. My girlfriend hates me and she reminds me weekly. I love her, I don’t even know why anymore... I feel like I ca