springtrap

i hate the idea of absurdism bcuz it just instantly makes everything i feel seem worthless and meaningless, like why should i feel happy or sad if there is no meaning from one moment to the next, even now i feel like have to write this down now or something will distract me or hold my attention for more than half a second and now there will be a totally different thought loop going on in my brain.. like ill be stuck thinking so negatively about something, and then i see a friend in an unexpected place or eat something and instantly everything negative is overwritten, my mood changes so often and for so little reason i just feel like there is no point in feeling anything bcuz every thing i think and every reason i give for my mood is moot as soon as anything happens, im sure everyone has done this at some point, when you are just trying to peacefully sorrowmaxx and then all these joycels come out of the woodwork to ruin your streak, idk why i but i always felt a lil mad when that happened because ev