Camilla Macaulay • mad woman

#donnatartt #thesecrethistory #bookedit /originally it was in sepia but i didn’t like the look 😭 sepia suits her btw/ that was probably the hardest thing i’ve ever edited. like, ever. i kept so many scenes unused as i was unsure of all of them, because, the truth is, 500 pages later, after so many rereads and ongoing deep-diving into the book, i don’t think i know anything about camilla, really. everything we see of her is through someone else’s eyes: richard, henry, francis, we barely even hear her talk, so no, i don’t think i grasped her character very well. but then i thought, fuck it, if there’s not that much given about her, so there’s plenty space for imagination and i’ll just make this one as i see her. for me, she’s the most mysterious out of them all and i like to think of her as the psychopathic one, the manipulative one (they all are, but whatever). i tried to show her relationships with people closest to her (charles henry), as i don’t believe she ever really connected with richard or julian, with francis just a little. i also wanted to dive deeper into her parents trauma, which is in my opinion the reason for her messed up relationships with charles. she lost her parents in such a naive age, was left alone with the only person who’s been there for her. no wonder why all of it happened. i’m not particularly good at vague aesthetics, so it was a challenge, that’s not my strength 😭 but what i found so satisfying, is that bella and leo look so much alike, especially their eyes. it was a pleasure to edit them together. i didn’t put any quotes, but i hope it’s clear enough what happens. i tried to depict their parents death in a car accident, their grieving (the scene where young camilla screams in the forest is the moment she found out about their death), charles’ abuse towards camilla and, despite it, their special bond. in the end i tried to picture the scene where camilla sees charles in the bath, drunk again, and it becomes the very last straw before she leaves to henry, tearing their invisible string forever, leading us to the book’s climax, to henry’s boom-boom. i also have to mention what a great luck it was to find a young actress who is capable of depicting camilla’s portrayal so well and whom i personally liked very much. i started to watch this show, the lost flowers of alice hart, just to get scenes of alice, but ended up binging this show because it’s a m a z i n g. i don’t think i’ve ever seen a show like that. brilliant. maybe i’ll edit it someday (childhood traumas winking at me rn) let me know what you think, thanks for reading this much! haha coloring by @xLaurenMichelle (edited)