Why Burning Man Protesters Learned the HARD WAY: Rangers Don’t Play Games!

In an unexpected but entertaining clash of liberal values, anti-capitalist protesters found themselves at odds with Burning Man enthusiasts as they blocked a major roadway into the Black Rock City venue. Frustrated rangers had no time for the eco-warrior shenanigans, ramming through the blockade like a hot knife through organic, gluten-free butter. Dubbing themselves the “Seven Circles of Doom,“ these protesters managed to back up traffic for miles while displaying signs that read “Abolish Capitalism“ and “General Strike for Climate.“ Ironically, the blockade only seemed to irritate fellow liberals eager to reach the festival grounds, making it abundantly clear that when it comes to attending Burning Man, not even climate concerns can get in the way. Meanwhile, the tribal ranger who bulldozed through the protest signs—like a boss, mind you—became an instant folk hero, embodying the common sense and decisive action so often missing in these tumultuous times. To add a dash o