Biden’s staff refuses to let reporters ask questions at campaign event

In groundbreaking news, Joe Biden managed to get through a press event without mangling the answer to a question, going off on a tangent about some completely-imagined part of his life, or falling over. Biden was in Saginaw, Michigan to speak to his supporters as part of his reelection bid (a tactic which surely will win him new votes) and was ‘gonna take a few questions,’ according to one of his staffers. Horrified at the prospect of Biden being asked questions like ‘do you know where you are?’ his campaign staff leapt into action, lunging forward with the grace and subtlety of Leslie Nielsen in front of that burning building. Biden remained with his back to his audience, seemingly as confused as the reporters, although this isn’t exactly unusual for him. Biden campaign officials later apologized for the incident, claiming it was a ‘logistical issue.’ A second Michigan event was held that same day, on the Pleasant View golf course, which managed to avoid having to shoo reporters away – they were simply banned from attending outright.