“Suella Braverman’s Sacked“ - Marsh Family fourth adaptation of The Wellerman (in their trilogy)
Some small causes for celebration, and glimmers of hope this week for us in the British news cycle: the UK Prime Minister finally sacked failed Home Secretary Suella Braverman on Monday morning, and then on Wednesday morning the UK Supreme Court ruled that the government’s plan - her flagship strategy - to deport asylum seekers to Rwanda (which we sang about in our Paddington song!) was illegal.
If you need some background, you can find it here on Braverman: , and here on the Rwanda ruling:
As you may know, we had created a trilogy of satirical two-minute shanties about this minister’s comings, goings, and utterings in the past twelve months:
- Suella Braverman’s Gone (Oct 2022)
- Suella Braverman’s Back (Nov 2022)
- Suella Braverman’s Wrong (Sep 2023)
But we got so many requests this week that we capitulated and added an epilogue.
We have a favour to ask if you like this one, and wish to share it - which is that you have a look at the song we produced on Remembrance Sunday about the Israel/Gaza conflict, called “If That Day Comes Round.“ It’s because that took a million times more effort and is a million times more important to share. Cheers.
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LYRICS:
The fourth part of any trilogy
Is a bit of an absurdity
Indulgent, crass, unnecessary
Posturing for show
We’re sick of hearing our own voices
Endlessly repeat the chorus
But I guess we all make “lifestyle choices”
Some sink pretty low
Suella Braverman’s sacked!
Her tent’s been struck and her bags are packed
Gave Rishi so much flak
He had to let her go
She turned being cruel into an art
She’s left more stain than a megaton shart
She made the Met’s job really hard
Divisions she did sow
She played Pied Piper to the max
Then engineered her own collapse
Now bites & squeals like shipwrecked rats
That scramble off the boat
Suella Braverman’s gone
Hopping mad like a leprechaun
Plotting rebellion
She’ll huff and puff and blow
Her main enduring legacy was …
[empty space]
Who knows where next she’ll spread her views
A far-right party? GB News?
Or one day we’ll just find red shoes …
And wonder: “Where’d she go?”
Suella’s now become
Politically irrelevant
Upstaged by Cameron
As Tories come and go
Suella’s sacked in time
To join some festive pantomime
Slapstick stunts, offensive lines
She’ll steal the whole damn show!
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