What can you do about “approach - avoid“ relationships?

A veteran therapist proposes that people who seek intimacy and then back away from it - repeatedly - are unaware of being controlled by two sets of personality subselves: One set wants closeness, the other set expects rejection and abandonment, and fears “too much“ closeness. The result is confusing “approach-avoid“ behavior cycles. The video ends with links to related videos, and to a free online self-improvement eb lesson“ on how to optimize your inner and social frelationships: