Biden unable to move or speak at Juneteenth celebration

Joe Biden masterminded his latest and greatest masterplan yesterday in order to celebrate Juneteenth the only way he knows how. The plan was as follows: 1. Stay completely and utterly motionless 2. Do not, under any circumstances, respond to stimuli. Biden successfully executed this plan to perfection, until rudely interrupted by George Floyd’s brother, who introduced an unexpected fist bump into proceedings. Fortunately, there was a plan B, to be immediately put in action, once the music had stopped: 1. Say something incomprehensible Biden gave an address following the Juneteenth concert, and once again proved that no one can deliver a speech like Biden. ‘She no lost, she knew sharlorge ujshuj waszhen ied,’ he said. His work done, he slowly shuffled away.