The Mothers of Invention - Help, I’m a Rock!

SIDE THREE (Track 02) - written by Frank Zappa { A Suite in Three Movements: I. “Okay to Tap Dance“ II. “In Memoriam, Edgar Varèse“ III. “It Can’t Happen Here“ } “Freak Out!“ is the mainstream debut of studio musician Frank Zappa and his band The Mothers of Invention. It is considered as one of the first concept albums in rock music, as well as being the second double-album (Bob Dylan’s “Blonde on Blonde“ being the first). The album is notable for its satirical and experimental content that would be the bedrock of many Mothers albums (and future Zappa solo releases) to come. Originally issued on Verve Records in June 1966. LYRICS: [unintelligible chant, followed by a sampled scream] Help, I’m a rock! Help, I’m a rock! Help, I’m a rock! (Somebody!) Help, I’m a rock! (Please!) Help, I’m a rock! (Please!) Help, I’m a rock! (Please!) Help, I’m a rock! (Wow!) Help, I’m a rock! (Wow!) Help, I’m a rock! Help, I’m a rock! (Somebody!) Wow, man, it’s a drag being a rock. I wish I was anything but a rock. Heck, I’d even like to be a policeman! Hey, you know what? You know, maybe if I practiced, you know, Maybe if I passed my driving test, I could get a gig drivin’ that bus and pick some freaks up in front of Ben Franks, Right? Help, I’m a cop. Help, I’m a cop. Help, I’m a cop. Help, I’m a cop. (Help, I’m a rock!) Help, I’m a cop. (Help, I’m a rock!) It’s a drag being a cop. I think I’d rather be the mayor. Whoa! Always wondered what I was gonna be when I grew up, you know. (Always wondered... Always wondered... Always wondered... Always wondered...) Always wondered whether or not, (Always wondered... Always wondered... Always wondered... Always wondered...) Whether or not I could make it, (Always wondered... Always wondered... Always wondered... Always wondered...) You know, in society, because, You know, it’s a drag when you’re rejected. So I tore the cover off a book of matches, and I sent in. And I got this letter back that said — Ooh-hoo, Ooh-hoo, Ooh-hoo... Ooh-hoo, Ooh-hoo, Ooh-hoo... Ooh-hoo, A-ha! Ooh-hoo, A-ha! Ooh-hoo, A-ha! (Uh... Uhh...) Ooh-hoo, A-ha! (Uh... Ooh...) Ooh-hoo, A-ha! (Uh... Ah...) Ooh-hoo, A-ha! (Uh... Ahh...) Ooh-hoo, A-ha! (Uh... Uhh...) Ooh-hoo, A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha... Oh! Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Ah... Ah... Ahh... It can’t happen here. It can’t happen here. I’m telling you, my dear, That it can’t Happen here. Because I been checkin’ it out, Baby. I checked it out a couple a times. (Hmm... Mmm...) And I’m telling you It can’t happen here. Oh darling, it’s important that you believe me (Bop bop bop bop) That it can’t happen here. Who could imagine That they would freak out (Mmm... Mmm...) Somewhere In Kansas...? (Kansas, Kansas, Kansas, Kansas, tototototodo, Kansas, Kansas, Kansas, Kansas, tototototodo.. Kansas, Kansas) Who could imagine That they would freak out In Minnesota...? Mimimimimimimi-Minnesota... (Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota) Who could imagine...? Who could imagine That they would freak out In Washington, D.C.? (D.C., D.C., D.C., D.C., D.C., D.C., D.C., D.C., D.C., D.C.) It can’t happen here. (Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba) It can’t happen here. It can’t happen here. Everybody’s safe and it can’t happen here. No freaks for us. It can’t happen here. Everybody’s clean and it can’t happen here. No, no, it won’t happen here. I’m telling you it can’t. It won’t happen here. (Bop bop didi bop didi bop bop bop) Plastic folks, you know, It won’t happen here. You’re safe, mama. You’re safe, baby. You just cook a TV dinner And you make it. (Bop bop bop) No, no, no, no. Oh, we’re gonna get a TV dinner and cook it up. (Cha!) Go get a TV dinner and cook it up. (Cha!) Cook it up. Oh, and it won’t happen here. (No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... Man, you guys are really safe. Everything’s cool.) Who could imagine? Who could imagine That they would freak out in the suburbs? I remember (tu-tu) I remember (tu-tu) I remember (tu-tu) They had a swimming pool. I remember (tu-tu) I remember (tu-tu) They had a swimming pool. I remember (tu-tu) I remember (tu-tu) They had a swimming pool. And they thought it couldn’t happen here. Duh duh duh duh duh... (Oh, it couldn’t have happened here!) They knew it couldn’t happen here. They were so sure it couldn’t happen here. But... Suzy... Yes... yes... yes... I’ve always felt that... Yes! I agree, man, it really makes it... yeah... It’s a real thing, man! And it really makes it... (Makes it...) Suzy, you just got to town; And we’ve been, we’ve been very interested In your development. Forget it! Hmm... It can’t happen here...!